Oh, Good Grief

What happened? I go to bed one night happy, relatively fit, carefree and wake up the next day with wrinkles, stiffness and gray hairs that seemingly sprouted out of thin air. Seriously, I HOBBLE now if I sit for too long. What the hell? Age has never bothered me too much, at least not until the past couple of years. It's true, things do start going all to hell after 40.

Why is that? I mean mentally, I don't feel like I'm 45. Yes, I turned 45 in May. Holy shit! I'm sliding down to the half century mark! When I actually sit and think about it, it's really freaky. It sounds so, dare I say it, old. Yeah, yeah, age is relative, young at heart, blah, blah, blah. Oh, shut up! I'm freaking halfway to 50. That is so wrong on so many levels. I want to be one of the cool kids again! Not a "ma'am" to some 20 year old kid at the checkout counter. I know everyone says that 40 is the new 30, which means 45 is the new 35. Well, if that's true, then I want my 35 year old body back please. Seriously! And you know it's bad when I'm asking for that back.

I don't want to turn into one of "those" people. You know the ones. They wear socks with sandals, won't let you forget to give them their senior discount, and have become so rigid in their daily schedule that their new frenzied mantra is "I need to eat so I can take my pills!". On the other hand, I don't want to become one of the "other ones". The one's who will go to any extreme to deny the fact that they are NOT in the hip club anymore. They wear clothes that look great on a 25 year old, but ridiculous and desperate on a middle-aged paunch. They sport the botox/collagen injection mask of fear and wouldn't be caught dead with a gray hair on ANY part of their body. I don't know. I guess I'll just hang where I'm at and see what's next. Good or bad, hopefully it will be interesting.