Oh, Good Grief

Ramblings of a newly middle-aged woman


A Different Kind of Christmas

Posted by fey1133 |

Obviously, I've been a little slack in the posting department. Sue me. But before you do, let's talk about Christmas. Christmas is my favorite holiday. Wonderful lights, cozy fires, great smells. And of course, the presents! What's not to love?

Normally, my Christmas is spent with immediate and extended family, but this year was different due to several circumstances. Now, I hate change. I hate change probably more than anything else (besides being late and lima beans). This was an adjustment for me that I've been gearing myself up for for months. I truly expected to be, if not quite miserable, at least a bit sad and disoriented. Well.......... I wasn't.

I wasn't because I was still with my family (or a least some of them).

I had my first major white Christmas.

What?? Are you really surprised we took pictures of beer in the snow?

I celebrated my first Christmas with the love of my life.

And there were presents! As much as I love shopping for family and friends and hunting down the deals, I rarely put too much thought into what I'd like for Christmas. Luckily, I have someone who seems to just know what will bring me pure joy.

It was a different Christmas. A quieter Christmas. I missed all the family I normally share it with. I missed the noise, the traditions, the general craziness. But at the same time, I enjoyed the peacefulness of it. It led to reflections on past holidays with people no longer with me and future ones with people that have come into my life. All in all, as hard as it was, I give it a two thumbs up.


Passage of time

Posted by fey1133 |

Remember this girl? My evil twin I wrote about? Well, she turned 18 this week. It was bad enough when my oldest turned 21 . Now I have not one, but two full fledged adults for children. Are you kidding me?? I'm still a bit stunned by it. It sounds weird when I say it.

This child of mine, the child who was the peskiest of the pesky, the child who had a motor mouth that never stopped and who had more energy than I could ever dream of having, this child is gonna make one fine adult. You'll see.

Of course, I had to let her have her "I'm 18 now, let's do all the things that I couldn't do before I was legal!" moments. Like this:

She came home all excited about her first real adult undertaking. I, of course, did the minimal ooh's and aah's in between harassing her about what those scroll things are. "They're just designs, Mom!" she says, as she's looking at me like I'm the biggest idiot on the face of the plant.

Then, while I'm dreaming of how my young, adult daughter is going to shape the world by her votes, her words and her actions. While I'm imagining her grabbing life by the horns and taking charge. While I see her traveling to third-world countries to help the underprivileged, feeding the homeless, serving justice, righting the wrongs, I hear it. The words a mother never wants to hear.

"And after I got the tattoo, we all went to Starship............just because we could!"

Sorry, Mom. I tried. I really did.


Talk about a downer

Posted by fey1133 |

While going through my personal "box that I throw everything remotely important into" box, searching for my dog Trixie's shot records (time for a trip to the beauty parlor), I came across something I wrote while going through my divorce 8 years ago. Now, trust me on this, I am not a writer in any way, shape or form. I don't compose cute little ditties, wax poetic over life's tragedies like some love struck teen, or send out eloquent thank you cards for whatever occasion that may warrant such. Hell, you're lucky if I go out and BUY you a birthday card, much less sign it with more than a "Love, Angi".

So imagine my surprise when I found, scrawled in my really bad handwriting on a green sheet of notebook paper, this little ball of joy:

Time stops, but keeps rushing forward
Life wasted, but oh such precious things come from it
Fear of leaving, never staying
The world goes on without me

Fight your battles so complacently
Scream your loudest, but always silent
No where to go, no way to stay
Your sleepy eyes awaken

Where did the time go?
Where did my life go?
I open my eyes to look back upon myself
The darkness is passing
The games are now starting
I can't regret my decisions

Good grief, could I have gotten any more depressing? Can you just feel the tragic, life sucking, apparently emo wannabe mood I was in that day? I'll be very thankful if I can go the rest of my days without finding anymore of these little "treasures" hidden about.



Posted by fey1133 |

I was teased a bit this weekend and I'm not happy. We had some lovely weather here with the evenings having just a faint hint of fall weather. It was wonderful but left me craving fall so bad I can taste it. How is it possible that it's only July and I'm already done with summer and ready to jump ahead to October? I normally don't start feeling this way until at least mid August.

Autumn is undoubtedly my favorite time of the year. There is no other season that uses a mix of scent and color that heightens your senses to their fullest capacity. Ok, well that's how I feel at least. The coolness of the air that starts creeping in. The smell of firewood burning. The crunch of leaves. Trips to the mountains. Festivals and fairs. Pumpkins and apples. There's also the anticipation of the start of the holiday season. What's not to love?

For now, I guess I'm stuck with the yearning of it because I know, probably just as soon as I hit publish post, this Georgia weather will turn back to it's normal hot, sticky, miserable self. I'll just have to sweat a little more, keep my sweaters packed away and burn some woodsy scented candles from Yankee. You'd think since I was born and raised here I'd be used to it by now, even enjoy it. Not so much though. Especially when I get even the slightest of hints that fall will here soon enough. Well, there is one thing that will appease me............I guess I can start working on my Christmas shopping.